Sunday, January 15, 2012

January 15th Sunday: Hard Times

I'm not sure where to start tonight but I feel like had better put something up here to help piece things together. I'm sure there are lots of 'bits' of information floating around.

Things have continued to change for Charlotte since the last post. Day by day she seemed to lose a little ground. After the sleepy day (in the last post) she did perk up and have a couple of better days.

On Thursday we saw quite a sudden change, after a fairly normal albeit sleepy morning she woke up from her nap and was not able to focus. She was still quite with it and didn't seem alarmed that she could not see. She woke up and asked for a chocolate, I passed her one and held it up for her to take it. She kept staring straight ahead and asked for a chocolate. I said here it is and she held out her arm in totally the wrong spot and made a swiping motion. After a few little tests of waving hands and flapping in front of her eyes it was clear that she didn't see any of it, she did not even flinch. Within an hour she could see a bit again. This seemed to come and go for the rest of the day.

That bump of swelling on her head continues to swell, a new bump started to surface between her eye and ear. It looks uncomfortable but she never complains about it. We have been slowly increasing her morphine hoping to ease any pain she might be feeling.

Friday she was sleepy again but this seemed a little different. Even when she was awake and alert its seemed like she couldn't hold herself up. Her head wobbled quite a bit, like when your falling asleep in the car doing that head bobbing thing, like that. I cant remember but I don't think that we tried sitting her up on her own, she would have slumped off the chair. But she was awake and alert, asking for chocolate and by suppertime she ate a good bowl of noodles with cheese. As long as she was propped up on someones lap she seemed to be happy.

Saturday morning she didn't want up; she took her morning meds and was swallowing ok, she was responding a little to questions, nodding her head or squawking, but she just didn't open her eyes or want to be moved out of bed. Her breathing was laboured and throughout the day got worse, a big deep breath followed by way too long of a pause, followed by some short panting, it is a style of breathing that indicates that a body is slowing down. Her doctor was by a couple of times and once again had to tell us that this could be the beginning of the end. We are all used to Charlotte and her amazing turnarounds so I think everyone is hesitating to label anything. By noon she seemed to have lost any capacity to communicate, I'm sure that she could still hear us, her eyes seemed to scrunch tighter at appropriate moments. We got geared up in case she was not able to swallow, her morphine can be administered under her skin so we set that up for the night. We are a little nervous giving her oral meds in case they don't all go down and we will not know how much she actually got. The other worry is that they could get into her lungs.

Saturday night went smoothly, she continued to sleep in her new big girl bed, Rob and I tucked in on either side. Her breathing got a little better throughout the night. Her morphine went in fairly smoothly. So I guess it was a good night.

Sunday morning came and she was breathing a little easier and was slightly alert again. We got a few nods and squawks around 10, by the afternoon things had regressed again. So we have spent most of the day tucked up on her bed reading her favourite stories.

........... I am being beckoned to help get things set up for tonight.


  1. Anonymous9:37 PM

    Love you guys lots.
    -Aunty Button

  2. We continue to pray. May you all feel Gods love surrounding you.

  3. Anonymous10:59 PM

    Praying for you all. May you feel Gods amazing Love.

  4. Anonymous11:54 PM

    Keeping you guys and Charlotte in my prayers.
    This is Grace, the nurse who first admitted you guys to Unit 3. I just happened to stumble upon your blog through a friend on Facebook. I could never forget Charlotte's beautiful red hair and even more beautiful smile. God bless you guys through everything that you're going though.

  5. We learned of Charlotte from our daughter in the Knox Church congregation, and have been praying for her and you ever since. In this incredibly difficult time, may you be upheld and strengthened by God's loving presence.

  6. Tanya5:51 AM

    Thinking or you all and sweet little Charlotte! An amazing beautiful little girl who will inspire me always. A true little fighter. Praying for you all during this difficult time..

  7. Anonymous7:19 AM

    God, we lift up Rob, Alison, Charlotte and Yolanda. Please give strength and grace for today. We ask for your peace, comfort, rest and hope. Jesus, we ask for your healing and restoring touch. Help them feel your presence.

    We continue to pray.
    Dale & Cheryl

  8. Anonymous8:01 AM

    Sending love to you.
    Anie and Mike, Finn and Wren.

  9. Anonymous8:21 AM

    My family is sending prayers to you and your family.I have young children and my heart goes out to all of you

  10. Anonymous9:16 AM

    Thinking of you all.....

  11. Anonymous9:26 AM

    Thank you so very much for the update; it is amazing that you take the time to put into words all that your family is going through. So much love is being sent your way to guide all 4 of you through this heartache.

  12. Angela Smith9:48 AM

    Thinking of Charlotte and her family through this difficult time are in my prayers.x

  13. Anonymous10:25 AM

    May the grace of the Lord Jesus Christ, and the love of God, and the fellowship of the Holy Spirit be with you all. In your time of need, Love and prayers sent to you and your family.

  14. Anonymous10:45 AM

    We are strangers, as the world would say, but my heart is so full of prayers and empathy for you. You are an amazing family. I am thankful that there is internet so that we can let you know how much we care. God, I beseech you, in Jesus name to make it so this young family can just keep on. A moment at a time. And that your grace is felt very certainly.

    Sherri watson

  15. Delaine10:50 AM

    Praying for your family . Thank-you for the update.

  16. Anonymous2:40 PM

    We have been praying for you and your family. You have amazing strength and faith, may God keep you in his arms as he helps you through this difficult journey.

  17. Anonymous3:03 PM

    Thank you for the update. Charlotte is never far from my mind. I cannot begin to imagine the heartache that you are feeling during this difficult time. I wanted to let you know that I continue to lift your family up in prayer. May God give you sufficient strength and grace to face each day and may the love of your family and many friends give you the courage to continue on...

  18. Lots of prayers coming your way - from David, Eskedar and Bereket and I and from the whole school.

  19. Anonymous6:26 PM

    I am praying for your family. You have a wonderful, beautiful strong little girl. May God give her and your family the strength to get thru these difficult times.

  20. oh please do not speak negative thought she is growing in strength and will continue the good fight of faith Father God we agree that there is no weapon formed against up that You cannot handle and so in the same power the raised our Lord Jesus for the grave, we ask and agree that you will remove this evil that is invading your child,whom you love. We ask that you give her back her strength to fight the good fight of faith and for her family and friends to speak life and hope into her even when in the natural all hope seems lost let no negative thoughts or prayers be lifted up into the kingdom of darkness but let our Lord Jesus stand in the gap for Charlott and her family as we believe great things will come out of this trial for the advancement of the kingdom of light. We in your family LORD God Almighty believe this prayer will be answered and there will be a great testimony to be given about the love and greatness of our God. In Jesus name we pray this to lifted up to the throne room and healing light will be returned back to the presents of Charlott and her family. Father we are standing on the promises that you said the none of your words return to you void but they go out and produce the fruit you sent them for and your little daughter will be healed for your glory and honor Amen and Amen

  21. My thoughts and prays are with your family! You have a very special little girl!

  22. Anonymous7:37 AM

    Although I do not know you directly, please know that people in all directions are sending love to Charlotte and to all of you. We hope our prayers and love give you all comfort and strength.

  23. Anonymous11:00 PM

    We are thinking of your beautiful little girl tonight....although I have never met your family my heart still breaks for you all. xxx

  24. Anonymous11:40 PM

    I just finished reading your last entry. As I sit here in the dark and pray for Charlotte, and your whole family it makes me realize how much we take for granted. My thoughts, prayers and love go to you all.

    I pray that God holds you all close and gives you the strength you need right now.

  25. Anonymous5:49 AM

    Praying for your beautiful family. We are strangers in a world filled with people with the same struggles. We are all one family of God. May God keep you strong even when you feel your weakest. Sending love and prayers to everyone. Always remember the Footprints poem and find assurance that when you feel alone battling life's curveballs, it is then that HE carries you. Take peace in that..

  26. Anonymous7:03 AM

    Allison,I have followed your posts and admire your faith & strength. In a world where people are so concerned with possessions, your story has made your readers stop and think about family, loved ones and the really important things in life. God bless you all.

  27. Anonymous8:16 AM

    Praying that Jesus brings each of you peace and a quiet strength in these moments. May He wrap His love around you and hold you close to His heart while He rejoices at holding your little one in His arms once again.

  28. Anonymous8:39 AM

    *hugs* Praying for peace in this difficult time.

  29. Anonymous10:03 AM

    This is so very sad, may god ay his hands over u and protect u in this difficult time, xx fromour home to yours , much love and tenderness <3

  30. Anonymous10:55 AM

    I hope that all of my friends and family take a minute today and truly look at everything they have in life and are grateful for everything they have. It is not our possessions, our bank accounts that make us who we are, its our family, friends and love for each other that means everything. Take time to enjoy the small things in life. Stop and eat some chocolate.

    Sending my love, thoughts and prayers to the Amsing Family. I am so sorry for your loss, I can't even to begin to imagine what you are going through. Your daughter has inspired me to do better in life, to enjoy every minute.

  31. Our families have not met but we pray for you often. Our hearts break for you today as we continue to pray for you during this time. May you receive unmeasurable grace, peace, comfort and joy in the many days to come. Charlotte has touched many lives!

  32. Anonymous12:28 PM

    Thinking and praying for you at this difficult time.

  33. Anonymous12:47 PM

    Your grandfather gave us an update this morning. You have been and will continue to regularly be in our prayers.
    Stanley Groothof and family, Telkwa BC

  34. Anonymous10:10 PM

    Our family is praying for yours. Your strength is admirable. Charlotte is in the hearts of the whole town. With love